Light On
by onetreefan
Summary: Derek thinks about what he needs to do to fix things with Penelope after a tough case. MG Post 6x01 "The Longest Night" Inspired by the song "Light On" by David Cook.


_Come home safe. I'll leave a light on. _

Derek sat at the back of the jet reflecting the intensity of their last case. He thought of his close encounter with death. Anger ran through his veins when images of Billy Flynn entered his mind. His heart broke when he thought of his orphaned companion, Ellie. Confusion came to his mind when he thought of the actions of his team as well as his own will.

Guilt dominated his senses when he thought of Penelope Garcia.

Derek clenched his teeth when he tried to avoid thinking of hurting her. He could rationalize that he was focused, determined, attacked. He could say that his need for answers and information consumed him and eliminated his ability to find humor or light in their darkness.

However, it didn't change the fact that he yelled at his Baby Girl. He criticized her in front of their boss. He was sharp in the manner he addressed her. He put fear into her voice as she provided information through the telephone lines.

He wasn't apologetic for his actions until Hotch corrected him. Hotch was notorious for his desire to keep calls professional and to the point. However, since the loss of Haley, Aaron had developed a dependency on Garcia that was subtle for the eyes of the team, but severely personal when they weren't in the BAU. Garcia always watched out for Jack. In times that Jessica couldn't be with him, Jack was in Penelope's care. She managed to make herself even more special to the heart of the team leader. Hotch's defense of the analyst in Derek's time of frustration and panic was a welcomed surprise for the team and a wake up call for Derek.

As Derek looked out the darkened plane windows, he thought of her strength over the line when he apologized to her. She was quick to dismiss what happened to hurt her. Penelope was first to remind him that one argument wouldn't effect their relationship. But Derek knew that this was more than just one argument. He has put her through hell the past two years. From the near explosion in Central Park to his lack of discretion with Tamara Barnes, Derek was less than perfect in their relationship. Yet, her heart and devotion were constant, and she remained his solace. She was there for every case and touched his heart in ways he still couldn't understand.

And he yelled at her. Berated her. Embarrassed her. Hurt her. He didn't think he could forgive himself for that.

_Never really said too much_

_Afraid it wouldn't be enough_

_Just try to keep my spirits up_

_When there's no point in grieving_

_Doesn't matter anyway_

_Words could never make me stay_

_Words will never take my place_

_When you know I'm leaving_

As they approached Quantico, all their phones buzzed. Spencer had been asleep and sat up sharply when the vibration hit his thigh. JJ had been sitting beside him, her head resting on his shoulder as a pillow, and his movements made her cheek hit his bony shoulders sharply. "Spence!" she yelped, holding her cheek softly.

"Sorry," Spencer said awkwardly, avoiding Emily and David's humorous stares.

Once they looked at their phones, they all smiled when they realized it was a message from their bright technical analyst. It read _My Superheroes. Please look to your desks when you return safely. I expect each of you to get a full 8 hours sleep this evening, including you Boss Man. xoxo_

"Wonder what that's about," Emily wondered as she gathered her purse and immediate belongings.

"If I know Garcia, it's probably plates of baked goods or candies," David said leaning his head back against the chair imagining the delicious baked goods.

"Her cookies are the best by far," JJ said with a tired smile.

"I have to disagree," Spencer said preparing a draft text for Garcia once they landed. "Her cake is always moist and flavorful."

"Jack loves her lemon squares," Hotch said packing up his briefcase. "She has been spoiling him with those on Fridays in his lunch pail, regardless of who has him. She seems to always be at the right place when we need her."

"Do you think that has anything to do with the fact that she and Kevin split?" Emily inquired. Derek's head shot up in surprise with that newest piece of knowledge about his Goddess.

"Oh I am sure," JJ said with a smile.

The team nodded in agreement as the plane landed, however, Derek couldn't shake the guilt from his heart as he closed his phone.

_Try to leave a light on when I'm gone_

_Something I rely on to get home_

_One I can feel at night_

_A naked light, a fire to keep me warm_

_Try to leave a light on when I'm gone_

_Even in the daylight, shine on_

_And when it's late at night you can look inside_

_You won't feel so alone_

When the team entered the BAU, they all had bright smiles as they approached their desks and offices. In Hotch's office was a decorated box filled with lemon squares. A note was attached to the front which read _For my favorite Boss Man and his Junior Super Hero. XOXO. _With a tired sigh, Hotch text a brief message of gratitude to his technical analyst and was on the phone with Jessica to pick up his son.

David smiled when he entered his office and a warm platter of brownies awaited him along with a bottle of red wine. Placed upon the saran wrapped brownies was a note which read _It is European to have dark chocolate and red wine. Cheers to you my Italian Stallion! XOXO. _ David could only laugh as he gathered his things and prepared for an evening of italian opera, fine wine, and chocolate. All of which were possible with the help of his Fairy God Kitten.

JJ smiled as she entered her office. Upon her desk was a tray of beignets and a new pacifier. Smiling, she played her voice mails while reading her note upon her desk. It read _Hello Blonde Haired Blue Eyed Goddess. Here is a treat for you, your sexy southern baby daddy and my beautiful God son. Muah! _ Laughing to herself, she took a bite out of the fresh donut like dessert and sighed in pleasure, listening to her messages a little slower than usual.

Emily knew she was late for a date with Mick Rawson, however, she knew she had to go to her desk and see what her favorite red head left for her. Tears came to the brunette's eyes as she saw chocolate chip cookies in the shape of christmas characters upon her desk. It may have been the middle of the year, but these holiday cookies sparked a memory in the brunette she hadn't shared with anyone but Garcia. The cookies represented one of the few good memories she had with her political mother and her absent father. Stepping toward the note, Emily wiped away a tear as she read _My Brown Eyed Angel, I hope you enjoy the delicious cookies. Thought you needed a reminder that love is constant and memories can be filled with love. XOXO. _"Thank you, Penelope," Emily whispered as she gathered her things and made her way to her sedan.

Spencer had been walking with purpose from the moment he received Penelope's text message. So many options were possible when he thought of what was waiting for him at his desk. From Star Trek action figures and collectables to a magic set, Spencer was ready to play. However, he jumped for joy when he saw a double layered cake waiting for him. Knowing the flavors were yellow cake and chocolate cake beneath the purple frosting, Spencer sat down and pulled out his traveling utensils. As he took a bite of his special dessert, he read a note upon his desk which read _Boy Genius. You can have your cake and eat it too! ;) Give Austin a call. She misses you. Love Mama Bear Garcia. _Surprised, Spencer took a breath and stared at his phone as he ate his favorite dessert, keeping Garcia's suggestion at the center of his thoughts.

Derek had been nervous going to his desk. No desserts or candies decorated his desk. Rather, a brown paper bag was all that stood. Raising an eyebrow with curiosity, Derek looked around his surroundings making sure the team was focused and departing before he opened the bag. When he opened the bag, he chuckled as he dumped the contents upon his desk. A flash light, light up pen, glow in the dark silly putty and book light fell from the brown paper bag along with a blue post it. Lifting the note carefully, Derek read _There is always a light for you, Derek Morgan. You just need to see it. Penelope _

Saddened by the lack of nicknames in his note, Derek sighed and played with the gadgets upon his desk. He opened the fun drawer and started placing his new gadgets in there. Taking the time to realize aspects of Penelope and their friendship filled that drawer, Derek's guilt continued to consume him. He lifted up the silly photo of her and gave it a sad smile. He knew he had some make up to do, and he needed to do it now.

_You know we've been down that road_

_What seems a thousand times before_

_My back to a closing door and my eyes to the seasons_

_That roll out underneath my heels_

_And you don't know how bad it feels_

_To leave the only one that I have ever believed in_

As Derek drove to her apartment, he couldn't help but reflect on their friendship through the previous six years. Those six years were filled with loss, injury, devastation and grief as well as laughter, adventures and friendship. He thought of her smile which always lit up the room. He thought of her love filled hugs and soft caresses as he head rested upon her lap during movie nights. He thought of her courage, passion and ability to trust and he thought of her actions when she would travel with the team. He couldn't help but chuckle at their flirty banter and comical actions to help pass the time.

Though those memories made him smile, he also thought of the late night phone calls they would have. Sometimes, he would hear her sneak from bed so their conversation wouldn't wake Kevin. He could tell if she was in the kitchen or the bathroom during their talks depending on if there was an echo in her voice. He could hear her constant reassurances of his abilities to save those who are lost and provide comfort to the family's of victims. Derek thought of the times she would attempt to hide her tears in their conversations as he voiced his regrets and duties as she was forced to stand on the side lines and couldn't do anything to save him.

As he turned the corner and parked his truck, Derek smiled sadly as he saw her purple lamp shine brightly through her darkened window. She would always leave a light on for him, regardless of how he treated her. He didn't know whether to be grateful or ashamed for that reality in their relationship. All he knew is that she left a light on for him, just like she said she would. He had never been more grateful for that bejeweled lamp and its brightness.

_Try to leave a light on when I'm gone_

_Something I rely on to get home_

_One I can feel at night_

_A naked light, a fire to keep me warm_

_Try to leave a light on when I'm gone_

_Even in the daylight, shine on_

_And when it's late at night you can look inside_

_You won't feel so alone_

Derek shuffled his feet as he knocked upon her door. A few moments passed and there was no response on the other side. Knocking again, he waited and continued to hear nothing. Attempting to look through her window which was covered with a sheer white curtain, he was able to make out her shadow from behind the closed door. He could feel her nervousness and fear through the old oak door and Derek exhaled sadly. "Penelope, you said you would leave a light on. I see it, and I know you are in there. I know I hurt you and I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am. I just need you to open this oak door for me and let me look into your honey brown eyes."

Silence greeted him and her shadow moved slightly. He could catch the shuffling of her own body by the movements of the shadow. "I want you to know that you amaze me every day. You think that a light is what I need to bring me back here. It isn't a light bulb, Baby Girl. Or even a candle. It's you, Penelope. Your heart, your smile, your love. You are what guides me home every case. Im sorry I don't remind you of that fact enough."

Derek could feel his heart pounding in his chest, hear it in his ear drums, and bit the inside of his cheek out of nervousness. He waited, staring at her oak door waiting for any sort of response. Even a _GET OUT! _ would suffice. He knew she had every right to feel unsure of his intentions. Derek had hurt her, and he needed to own up to it. However, as he stood before her wooden entryway, he could feel every insecurity and doubt he ever had about their friendship crawl into the forefront of his mind.

Letting out a defeated breath, Derek began to turn and walk from her entry way. However, the sound of doors unlocking stilled his movements and he looked toward the door in nervous anticipation.

_Sometimes it feels like we've run out of luck_

_When the signal keeps on breaking up_

_When the wires cross in my brain_

_You'll start my heart again_

_When I come along_

She opened the door with her hair down and eye make up smeared. Her nose was slightly red and she bit her bottom lip out of nervousness. She wore a soft cotton dress she found at the GAP. Simply yellow with a racerback style for the sleeves, the dress was made for Yoga or other relaxing activities. As it rested at the middle of her ivory thighs, she shifted nervously. He could make out decorated cotton briefs and a sports bra beneath the yellow dress as he gaze moved back up to her eyes. Standing before him, she was bare foot, vulnerable and possessed a look of longing and doubt. She gave him a hurt grin and rested her body against the door.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hey back," she replied, much like the conversation they had before.

Looking around and inside her apartment, he asked, "Kevin here?"

Laughing sadly, she rolled her eyes and looked back up into Derek's eyes, "Kevin who?"

They took a moment just to look at one another, reading each other's movements and intentions. Penelope could see the exhaustion in his stance and his eyes. Derek could see her hurt and confusion in her eyes. Each wanted something that neither could define.

Penelope took a timid step forward, keeping one hand upon her door. She lifted her right hand and her thumb grazed the cut above his brow. Fresh tears gathered in her eyes as she bore witness to the suffering and torture he had been put through. She shyly pressed her forehead against his chest and allowed her sobs to consume her. Breaking silently, her hands traveled around Derek's waist and rubbed calming circles upon his back. Sound came from her as his arms wrapped around her and her fears and emotional wounds came to the surface.

Derek held her close and attempt to sooth her as her body released it's tension and anxiety. "Im here," he continued to whisper as he peppered the crown of her head with kisses. "Im here."

After a few moments of vulnerability, she removed herself from his arms and looked up to him with concern in her eyes. "You okay?" she asked.

He nodded, taking her small soft hand in his, calmed by the feeling of her acrylic nails against his rough palm.

Penelope nodded, looking down at her feet and shuffling slightly. She couldn't look into his eyes for fear of finding anger and disappointment returning to his focus now that she broke in front of him.

Derek took a step closer to her and lifted her chin to meet his onyx eyes. He wiped away her tears much like he did when they were in Alaska. Slowly, he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. He breathed in her intimate scent and felt drunk off the softness of her lips. He gripped onto her a little tighter as the sensations consumed him. Their noses rubbed against each other softly as her tongue sought after entrance of his mouth. Granting it immediately, they were overwhelmed by the passion they unlocked. Penelope pulled him to her gently, being mindful of his bruises that were beneath his grey shirt. Derek couldn't get enough of her. He moved them to the wall beside the door, her lower back hitting her door bell. As he thrust her body backwards, the door bell would ring out throughout the apartment. While one hand pulled her closer, meshing their hips together, another traveled to her hair as he ran his fingers through her red locks. Penelope moaned in anticipation and pleasure as his teased her lips with soft bites before thrusting his tongue inside her mouth.

As the sounds of nearby crickets and alley cats invaded their senses, they separated and rested their foreheads upon one another, each catching their breath. Derek looked deep into her eyes and whispered, "Forgive me?" while nuzzling her nose.

Holding his hand, she stepped away from him and motioned for him to enter her apartment. She bit down on her bottom lip as her eyes were filled with desire and forgiveness.

Derek squeezed her hand and followed her into the apartment, ready to take on whatever challenges their future held as long as his solace continued to leave a light on for him to return home.

_Try to leave a light on when I'm gone_

_Something I rely on to get home_

_One I can feel at night_

_A naked light, a fire to keep me warm_

_Try to leave a light on when I'm gone_

_Even in the daylight, shine on_

_And when it's late at night you can look inside_

_You won't feel so alone_


End file.
